


Pilot

by Renian



Series: Marauders: The Sitcom [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Identity, LITERALLY, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Pining, Pranks, Shenanigans, Tension, in the closet, no I will not apologize for that pun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 19:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12637731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renian/pseuds/Renian
Summary: It's the start of fifth year with the Marauders. As the group gets up to their usual shenanigans, Remus and Sirius work out last year's lingering tension. Playful antics, romance, and of course corny humor. You can practically hear the laugh track in the background.





	Pilot

**September 1st, 1975 (5th Year)**

Sirius strode onto Platform 9 ¾ with a satisfied smirk, having given his family the slip not five minutes ago by simply walking away the second his mother began her yearly speech complaining about the platform's proximity to "those filthy muggles". He searched for faces in the bustle of students and families until he found James and ran at him full-force, scattering his luggage as he knocked over his best friend's cart with his own. Sirius leapt at the last second to embrace his friend in a koala-style hug, his long hair splaying out behind him in his trademark dramatic fashion.

“We’re back!” James exclaimed, supporting all of Sirius’s weight while his best friend clung to his torso with legs and arms. They both celebrated, enjoying the moment that what Sirius had deemed brought “the worst, dumbest, most James-less summer of his life” to a greatly-anticipated halt. The two spent what may have been considered an embarrassingly long time whooping and bouncing in celebration amongst their scattered trunks. The pair ignored the angry looks and complaints from passing parents as they tripped over the cluster of luggage until Sirius heard a throat clear firmly from behind him.

James froze in place as if it might allow him to magically go unnoticed, one of Sirius’ legs still wrapped around his waist from the mid-air hug. His face went pale as he met the judging pair of green eyes. It took him a moment to remember that talking was a thing he could do. “Evans. Didn’t know you’d arrived yet.”

She rolled her eyes and shifted her weight as Sirius climbed off of James, leaving both of their robes mussed though neither moved to fix them. “Of course I’m here. Unlike some people," she noted piercingly, "I actually arrive on time, and the train leaves in two minutes.” 

“Yep. Totally. Right. Knew that.” James mumbled a little too quickly, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck and messing with his already messy hair.

“You’re idiots.” Lily stated blandly with an exasperated turn as she made her way to the train.

James sighed as he watched her leave, already frustrated with the direction his relationship with Lily had taken this year.

Sirius gave him a firm clap on the back. “Hey man, it’s only the 2,782nd time she’s rejected you.” He said with mostly mocking support, “For all you know time number 2,783 could be the winner.”

“Ok, laugh it up mate, but someday Lily Evans will realize that I am all she ever desired in a man.” James countered with a facial expression he probably assumed was wise-looking as he made his way to gathering his scattered cartful of luggage.

“Oh, please. I’ve got five Sickles in my pocket right now that say that day never comes.” Sirius pulled the coins from inside his robes and waved them in his friend’s face.

James grabbed the other boy’s free hand and shook it furiously, holding his eyes in an intense stare. “Oh, you’re on.”

With that, the pair rushed off to board the train, hastily gathering the remainder of their scattered luggage before barely making it over to their seats next to Peter and Remus before the train took off for Hogwarts.

 -

**Gryffindor Dormitories**

The four marauders barrelled into their dormitory room for the year, knocking one another over to claim the best bed before the others. Well, three of them did and Remus walked in calmly from behind. James pushed his way through Peter and Sirius, who’d each knocked over trunks each other’s paths in an attempt to get ahead of the other. James took a risky leap, and reaped the benefits of his long legs, managing to throw a respectable third of his body on what was obviously the newest bed in the room. Remus stepped over the two smaller boys, who had resorted to wrestling among their scattered luggage, and claimed the bed next to the bookshelf as he usually did.

After an embarrassing amount of slapping, Sirius finally sent Peter flying across the room with a yell, claiming the bed between James and Remus, and leaving the terrible bed near the bathroom to Peter (who ended up there every year without fail).

“Nice one!” James remarked, giving a thumbs-up to a still out-of-breath Sirius.

“Thank you,” Sirius replied as he stood, plopping himself on his bed for the year as he gestured dramatically to the piece of furniture, “it’s my throne now.”

He sent Remus a cheesy smile, and the taller boy avoided his gaze. “Seems like the feast should be starting soon.” He said to James and Peter, who was still making his way to his bed after the scuffle.

“You’re right,” James said heading over to give Peter a hand, “we should go claim our places at the table before all the good seats get snatched up.”

Sirius nodded. “I’ll meet you down there,” he said, snagging Remus’ arm as he was headed out. “Wait.”

“I shouldn’t. You know if he goes unsupervised, Peter will eat more than his own body weight.” Remus stated with feigned nonchalance, his eyes on the door.

Sirius gently tugged the other boy’s arm, which was warm in his grasp. “Please?”

“Fine.” Remus sighed, looking the other boy in the eyes for the first time that day.

“What’s going on? You haven’t said a word to me since we got back, and you barely wrote to me all summer.” Sirius asked, a surprisingly large amount of defeat in his voice. “Is it about the last prank of fourth year?”

 -

**The Last Prank of Fourth Year, in a Second Floor Hall Closet**

It was one of the hottest days of the school year, and Remus and Sirius were crammed in one of Filch’s stuffy closets. The two waited anxiously, Sirius (who was in front) continuously peeked through the crack in the door to wait for their cue to pull off their portion of the plan. He stood with wand in one hand to cast light in the tiny space while the other arm was packed tightly with fireworks - a key part of their plan.

Sirius turned to make a remark to Remus, who was in charge of the gillyweed-laced pumpkin juice, and his wand slipped from his hand. “Bollocks!” He mouthed to the other boy.

The two boys dropped to the stone tile, both of them scrambling in the dark to reach the wand. Sirius’ fireworks spilled from his arm, covering most of the floor. Remus’ hand landed on something peculiar, and it took him far too long for him to realize that something was the other boy’s hand. The two froze for a moment, unsure what exactly was happening. Their hands grew warm and the moment grew in intensity as it dragged on. That is, until Sirius lost his footing and fell on top of his friend.

At that point, in the dark, second floor hall closet, something clicked between the two of them. The tension between them hit a breaking point and all of a sudden, the two boys were kissing. Neither was sure how they got there, but neither wanted to stop. Then they heard Peter screeching as he ran down the hall, the signal they were supposed to be looking out for, and they were pulled back to reality.

The pair panicked, scrambling to retrieve the fireworks and Sirius’ wand in time to run out and finish the prank. They scooped up everything off the ground and flew from the closet, Remus throwing the other boy’s wand to him while they ran.

 -

**Present Day, Back in the Gryffindor Dormitories**

Remus sighed, a distant look in his eyes. “Yes, I suppose that prank did happen last year.” He intoned as he turned to face Sirius completely.

Hope grew softly in Sirius’ stomach and his eyes widened. He felt his pulse through his entire body as the other boy held his gaze.

“But what went down in that closet doesn’t have to happen again.” Remus forced himself to look at the way his friend’s face shifted. “I’m already a werewolf, Sirius. I can’t be a poof too. I just can’t.” He fled the room with long strides for the feast, his head down in an attempt to regain his composure.

Sirius stood there as he watched his friend leave. When Remus was no longer in view, he softly stepped back to sit on the bed next to the bookshelf and put his head in his hands.

 -

**Five Hours Later**

The meeting was called to order, and a darkness fell over the Gryffindor common room. James leant forward in the enormous, leather-bound chair which sat menacingly in front of the fire. He pressed his fingertips together, slowly taking his time making intense eye contact with every other boy in the room. “Gentlemen, the time has come.” He intoned ominously. “We must start this year off with a truly genius, masterful prank.”

Peter immediately raised his hand excitedly, his eyes wide as he bounced in his seat.

“No, Peter.” James countered, without even making eye contact. He turned to the boy seated to his left, his most trusted comrade. “Sirius, what do you have?”

Sirius rolled up his sleeves and sold his idea like a businessman, gesturing animatedly. “We pull out all the stops. We flood the halls with flying snitches to send a group of our lovely classmates running. Then, when they finally make their way from the corridor, we’ll make a whole wall of spider webs for them to get stuck in.”

James kissed his hand dramatically. “I love it. It’s beautiful, that wild brain of yours.”

Sirius beamed, loving the attention.

“Remus. Logistics?” James inquired after turning to face the most practical of the group with a dramatic snap of the head.

“Well, we’re going to need to raid the quidditch supplies for sure for brooms and snitches.” He said with the intelligence and intensity of a seasoned professional. “We also need to carefully select the right hallway. A busy one with an empty room we can pop out of to conjure that spider web from.”

“I’ll take a broo-.” Sirius began to volunteer, before he was cut off by Remus.

“I’m on web duty then.” The boy offered, his gaze steady with James.

James thought for a second. He contemplated the oddly eager Remus, and the genuinely hurt expression on his best friends face. They both scooted away from one another despite already sitting as far apart as they could, and James sighed to himself. It was only the first day and something was already wrong. He had to fix this. This year was supposed to be their year and he refused to let it start out this way.

“Actually I think Peter and I should handle getting the quidditch things. He is the best at thievery, right Petey?” James declared, turning to stare down Peter.

“Umm, well I-” Peter felt a jab from James’ elbow as the last to realize James' meddling. “Yeah I steal stuff all the time.” He stated with absolutely zero confidence. He didn't even believe himself.

Remus and Sirius both let out soft, defeated sighs. “Closet duty it is.” Sirius conceded with his hands in the air, realizing that when James was up to something he would not give up.

 -

**The Next Day, in (The Same) Second Floor Hall Closet**

“Well, this is awkward.” Sirius remarked with mock nonchalance, crowded against Remus.

“This changes nothing.” Remus responded, gently pushing down the hand Sirius was holding his wand in. “I’ve got the light this time.” He raised his own wand, and the tip cast a glow around the tiny closet.

The pair stood for a while in uncomfortable silence, occasionally shifting their weight or tapping a foot to fein obliviousness at the obvious tension. Remus began to notice that Sirius seemed just plain wrong. Even if he was mad, as Remus had expected, his friend usually embraced the excitement of pulling a prank this large. The other boy should be practically buzzing with energy, but looked drained, and hunched over.

Sirius took a quick peek through the crack in the door. “No signal yet.” He whispered, turning to face Remus, who noted that his eyes were puffy and red before he quickly turned back away.

Remus took a deep breath to brace himself. He honestly couldn’t believe he was doing this. He closed his eyes, and let his wand drop from his hand. It hit the floor with a soft sound, its light dimming until it went out entirely.

There was a second of pure tension before both boys bent to retrieve the wand from the floor. Their hands made contract just as they had before, and the world stilled once again as it had in fourth year.

Remus wrapped his hand around the other boy’s, leaning into him as he slowly stood. When their faces were no more than a finger’s width apart, Remus whispered, “Are you alright with this happening?”

“Yes.”

Their lips crashed together. It was better than either of them could remember, which only pulled them in further. The pair of boys melted into one another, growing softer, but just as entranced. They ignored the signal. They ignored the screams and running feet of the crowd of students. Those things weren’t as important as the pair of them crammed in that tiny little closet sharing a secret they never thought they’d be able to share.


End file.
